Any time Ted did something wrong, douchy, hurtful, gross, etc. was followed by excuses and explanations like “can you blame me, kids?” like YES I CAN BLAME YOU, YOU INSENSITIVE SELFISH BRAT
And I’m convinced most everything thrown in about Barney being a douche was to make him look better by comparison WHEN HE COULD BE JUST AS GROSS AND WORSE CUZ AT LEAST BARNEY TAKES NO FOR AN ANSWER AND MOVES ON.
lets be honest im still upset about the himym finale
1. People never change. You may think they have changed. Heck, you may even spend nine years with them watching what you think is the process of them growing and changing.. but that is all shit. People never change. People don’t improve or develop. They will always go back to who they were.
2. If you’re a woman, good luck with trying to have a career and a family. No, it isn’t possible. You have to choose. Either you can choose family, and pop out baby after baby, because that is all you are good for, or you can choose you career, and end up bitter and alone, because if you choose career, not only will you have no family, you will also have no friends.
3. If you see a girl across the room, and decide in the second that that girl is going to be your future wife, you should keep chasing her. Even if it takes 25 years. Even if she has rejected you numerous times, and it seems like you guys are incompatible in every way possible. Even if it looks like she’s more interested in your best friend, and maybe even marries him. Even if you end up having your own wife and kids. Don’t give up. You WILL get her eventually. Even if you have to wait patiently until your own wife dies, and she divorces her husband (a.k.a, your best friend). Keep at it buddy. She’ll turn around eventually.
4. Babies will solve all your problems. No matter if you never actually wanted one. No matter if you only have one because you accidentally knocked up a chick you don’t even know the name of nor have any feelings towards. You should have one. Because they will heal you in every way possible, and all that people never changing stuff from point 1 will go away. Babies should be your be and end all goal in life, and your only chance of happiness. And if you can’t have babies, you should get with a guy who already has them. Otherwise you will be living miserable and alone with five dogs. Especially if you are a woman.
5. There is no such thing as soul mates. You may think someone is your soul mate. Heck, you may both even spend years in love with each other, jumping through hurdle after hurdle in your relationship to finally get married. But there are no such thing as soul mates. You will still divorce three years later because of something crappy like lack of wifi at an Argentinean hotel. And then your best friend will steal your soul mate. Because he saw her first and had dibs… apparently.
6. Friendships never last. You may think your friends are so close, they’re almost family. You may even sign them up as god parents to your children. But don’t be mistaken. They never last. Once you have children, or they have children, you will never see each other anymore. Doesn’t matter if you all live in the same city. Doesn’t matter if seeing them is only a babysitter call and a cab ride away. Your friendships will never last. So have a baby, or you will be miserable and alone.
7. If you meet a guy who is still friends with his ex-girlfriend who is infertile, be very very afraid. Because you will end up having his babies. And then, you will die. It will all be very convenient. And after you die, he will tell his children a long convoluted tale about how he met you, except it will really be about his ex. And your ungrateful children will snit all through your story like you mean shit all to them, then encourage dear old dad to forget you and go after ex. Again, be very careful.
8. A blue french horn is the most romantic thing you can ever give to a girl. Never mind about huge and elaborate rehearsal dinners so she can feel like she’s back in her home country for a night, never mind helping her find a job so she can stay in the country, never mind organising an elaborate plan to have her end up in her favourite spot in the city so you can propose, never mind comforting her when she needed you to, never mind loving her enough to just want her to be happy even after she chose someone over you and broke your heart, never mind vowing to always be truthful to her, and to love her forever. No, just give her a freakin’ blue french horn. Otherwise, you obviously don’t love her enough.
9. If your dad sits you down to tell you a long story about your deceased mother, but seems to be talking more about your Aunt Robin, he’s probably just asking for your permission to bang Aunt Robin.
10. There is no such thing as hope and dreams. All your hopes will be gone, and your dreams dashed. Unless your name is Ted, and your hope and dreams is a girl called Robin. Otherwise, just have babies.